Menopause: Do Women Lose Their Libido?

By: Clara Nabaa

The impact of menopause varies significantly from one woman to another, yet a prevailing social narrative often frames it as a phase during which women become “sexually cold.” How accurate is this perception? Let’s delve deeper into the experiences of women and the science behind menopause, exploring myths and truths surrounding libido during this natural biological transition.

Nisreen, 52, recounts the fears she faced during menopause:

“I had a rocky time with my partner. He would always say, ‘After forty, women are no longer worth anything.’ In our society, many men see their partners as mere vessels for childbirth. I worried deeply about losing my libido, not to mention dealing with physical symptoms like hot flashes.”

Such fears are compounded by phrases women frequently hear: “You’ve grown old,” “You’re no longer useful,” “You’ve become cold,” “You’ve entered menopause,” or even, “I’ll marry another woman.” These comments reflect deeply entrenched patriarchal norms that view women’s worth as inherently tied to their youth, beauty, and reproductive capacity.

Biological changes and social perceptions

In some societies, menopause is still referred to as the “age of despair,” reflecting an outdated and patriarchal belief system that reduces this natural biological stage to inevitable physical, psychological, and sexual suffering. These narratives fail to account for the diversity of experiences among women and perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines menopause as the point when ovarian follicular function ceases, leading to a decline in estrogen levels. A woman is considered menopausal after 12 consecutive months without menstruation, absent any pathological or physiological cause. Menopause typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55, but in some cases, it can happen earlier, bringing with it additional societal challenges linked to the loss of reproductive capacity. In patriarchal societies, women are often reduced to their ability to bear children, making this transition even more difficult.

Low libido is one of the most stigmatizing symptoms associated with menopause, often imposed on women before they even experience it. This stigma can severely hinder their ability to navigate the changes, both emotionally and physically. Some women may feel pressured to feign sexual pleasure to meet their partner’s expectations, while others grapple with self-image issues and the desire for intimacy.

Individualized experiences

Menopause is not a universal experience; it varies greatly among women. However, patriarchal narratives attempt to homogenize it, using stereotypes to reinforce man’s dominance. These judgments perpetuate myths about women’s sexual dysfunction while bolstering the notion of men’s sexual superiority. Common phrases like, “There’s nothing that can disgrace a man,” or “This woman is no longer functioning,” are used to shame and control women.

For Nisreen, these fears turned out to be unfounded. She believes much of what she heard about menopause stemmed from societal myths and misconceptions. “When I went through the experience, I realized it was different. I’ve matured emotionally, and I understand my body’s desires better now. I’ve even started expressing my wants to my partner, which strengthened our relationship. But I still hear comments like, ‘Your husband might want more children, so be careful, he might marry someone else.’”

Huda, 36, had a different journey. Facing early menopause, she experienced a sharp decline in libido, which strained her otherwise harmonious relationship with her partner. Fortunately, with his support and medical guidance, she found ways to address the issue. “At first, I was overwhelmed. Even though I wasn’t planning to have children, I felt ‘incomplete.’ Society’s intrusive questions only made it worse: ‘Don’t you like children?’ ‘Is your relationship suffering?’ But my partner’s understanding helped me cope and rebuild my confidence.”

These narratives highlight how patriarchal norms enforce the idea that a woman’s worth is tied to her reproductive role, ignoring her individual desires and experiences.

Debunking the myths about libido

The experiences of Nisreen and Huda demonstrate the complexity of women’s sexuality post-menopause. Factors such as hormonal changes, relationships, and societal pressures shape their experiences in unique ways. However, pervasive stereotypes continue to distort reality, influencing how women perceive themselves and their desires.

When Sharika Wa Laken surveyed 17 women aged between 39 and 69, the results revealed diverse experiences:

• 11.8% reported no sexual desire.
• 64.7% experienced a relatively low libido.
• 17.6% reported no change in libido.
• 5.9% experienced an increase in sexual desire post-menopause.

Sexologist Dr. Sandrine Atallah explains this variability: “Libido during menopause depends on several factors, including testosterone levels, perceptions of sex, and relationship dynamics. Low libido can also result from diminished overall well-being, mood changes, body image issues, depression, or physical symptoms like vaginal dryness.”

Strategies to improve libido

Research shows that hormonal changes during menopause, such as reduced estrogen, can lead to vaginal atrophy, dryness, and pain during intercourse. These factors can affect sexual satisfaction. Dr. Atallah emphasizes the importance of caring for vaginal health through vaginal estrogen therapy, lubricants, and pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation, which can prevent uterine or bladder prolapse and enhance libido if desired.

Lifestyle changes, such as regular physical activity, a balanced diet, stress management, and adequate sleep, also play a crucial role in maintaining sexual health.

Despite these solutions, most survey participants (82.4%) reported not taking any steps to address their sexual activity after menopause. Dr. Atallah attributes this to widespread misconceptions, lack of education, and insufficient medical attention to women’s sexual health.

Breaking the taboo

Menopause and its associated symptoms must be de-stigmatized. Women have the right to express their sexual desires, or lack thereof, on their terms. They also deserve access to accurate information and effective solutions for managing menopausal changes. Breaking the stereotype that ties a woman’s sexuality to her reproductive years is vital in empowering women to embrace their desires and their autonomy.

Psychological impact

Negative stereotypes surrounding menopause often have far-reaching psychological effects. As psychoanalytical and behavioral psychotherapist Sahar Jomaa explains, social judgments can lead to frustration, anxiety, isolation, and low self-esteem. Women may internalize these harmful images, altering their self-perception and even enduring painful or unwanted sexual experiences to conform to societal expectations.

It’s crucial to challenge these narratives and provide women with psychological support, whether through therapy, support groups, or open conversations with partners. Health education can also play a transformative role in dismantling myths, empowering women with accurate information about their bodies and choices.

Ultimately, menopause should be understood as a natural phase of life, not a marker of decline or inadequacy. By deconstructing patriarchal narratives and promoting informed, supportive discussions, women can reclaim their autonomy and redefine their experiences on their terms.