In Iraq, the Nightmare of Child Custody Is Devastating Women’s Mental and Sexual Health

By Banin Elias

One morning, Shaimaa (a pseudonym; 30, Baghdad) woke with severe lower-abdominal pain. She said over a WhatsApp call, sadly:
“The gynecological clinic doesn’t open until the evening, and I tried every painkiller and herbal remedy I could find.”

“I discussed it with my gynecologist, and she told me inflammation is sometimes linked to poor mental health.”

When she finally reached the clinic, she asked the receptionist to let her see the doctor before everyone else. She was shocked to be diagnosed with endometritis.

“I discussed it with my gynecologist, and she told me inflammation is sometimes linked to poor mental health.”
Shaimaa notes she has been divorced for two years, has two daughters from her previous marriage, and lives in constant fear of losing custody because of new laws.
“I am terrified. I follow the news all the time with fear and anticipation, imagining what would happen if I lost them.”

Between bouts of physical pain and relentless anxiety, Shaimaa feels trapped in a cycle that is harming her health, at a time when many divorced women lack adequate psychological and medical support to face these legal and social threats.

“I am terrified. I follow the news all the time with fear and anticipation, imagining what would happen if I lost them.”

Most divorced women in Iraq have lived under psychological pressure and ongoing crises since 2021, when Amendment 188 to the Personal Status Law was introduced in Parliament.
According to the Strategic Center for Human Rights, 357,887 divorces were recorded in four years, revealing the scale of those affected by these amendments and proposed laws.
In this investigation, we examine women’s psychological, health, and sexual conditions to reveal the profound harm caused by legal uncertainty and the fear of losing child custody, and how this has affected their physical and mental wellbeing.

“I am being slaughtered every day”: Mothers between threats from fathers and a ruthless society

Amid parliamentary debates, draft bills, and online posts about the proposed amendment, Dima (33, Baghdad) says she is living the hardest days of her life. She describes her routine:
“I can’t go to work. I spend the whole day in bed scrolling the news, sharing posts on social media, waiting for updates. This has been my life for two years.”

She adds, about her emotional life:
“I’ve been in constant fear and distress for months. I even broke off my engagement after a year-long relationship because there’s a chance a mother loses custody after she remarries.”

Regarding her health, Dima says she has begun to suffer obvious physical disorders, “including amenorrhea, hormonal imbalance, and significant obesity with a stable weight.”

My ten-year-old keeps asking, ‘Mom, are you going to leave me?’ Her father told her last time that he would take her from me by law.”

She suddenly bursts into tears: “I am being slaughtered every day. I picture my children in unsafe hands, or the moment they’re taken from me. My ten-year-old keeps asking, ‘Mom, are you going to leave me?’ Her father told her last time that he would take her from me by law.”

Rawnaq lives a tragedy similar to the mothers above. She explains that her ex-husband calls their three children under the pretext of checking on them, but in reality threatens to take them from her in a provocative, humiliating way. “Every time he calls, he threatens to take them and deliberately provokes me so I slip up and lose them in court.”

“I’ll teach you and your mother a lesson by force of law, or I’ll trample your heads.”

She recounts some of his words to their eldest: “I’ll teach you and your mother a lesson by force of law, or I’ll trample your heads.”
“I feel like I’m living with a noose around my neck that he can tighten whenever he wants,” she says sadly. “I can’t even respond to the insults for fear it will harm my children. We’ve lived like this for five years, and we’ll wait until they come of age.”

She concludes: “I’m paying for this endurance with my mental health, my falling hair, and wrinkles that have filled my face at a young age.”

Iraqi mothers between custody battles and domestic violence

Women’s rights and legal advocate Israa Salman monitors numerous cases of women who seek her help amid psychological crises and accumulated stress. She explains that many of them send her daily messages full of tears and despair, confirming the severity of their mental state.

Salman says: “The current law does not guarantee women’s safety; on the contrary, it threatens them and keeps them in a state of constant anxiety, especially with the rise in domestic violence in recent years, where we have even seen men kill their children after custody was taken from the mothers.”

She stresses that women now face two interconnected crises: the fear of losing custody of their children, and exposure to abuse. In many cases, children return from visits with their fathers in a distressed psychological state, after being subjected to emotional retaliation used as a tool to pressure their mothers.

Salman continues: “The fear today is not only of losing custody but of children being killed or neglected, especially since many fathers are absent because of work. In contrast, we find mothers, despite their own jobs, remain committed to providing full protection and care for their children, which is only natural.”

She also points out that calls to amend Article 57 of the Personal Status Law do not reflect the voices of mothers, but are largely driven by platforms affiliated with political parties, which consistently publish content threatening to strip women of custody, without offering any measures for their protection or support.

“This threat is not merely a legal debate,” she says. “It is enormous psychological and social pressure on women. They work, raise their children, and often receive little or no child support from fathers, which doubles the burden.”

Salman concludes: “Instead of providing real protection for divorced women, the law has placed them in constant fear. Some women have even begun to accept violence and live with it just to keep their children. This is extremely dangerous, as it normalizes domestic violence and makes breaking the cycle even harder.”

On the same issue, lawyer Israa al-Khafaji explains, citing the Scientific Council, that: “The conclusion has already been reached that custody belongs to fathers, but the legal code has not yet been published.” She adds that Iraqi courts currently rely on judicial discretion and interpretation until amendments are formally enacted. The code is expected to be issued once Parliament reconvenes after the upcoming elections, since it requires a parliamentary vote for approval.

Al-Khafaji notes that some couples may change their marriage contracts within the Ja‘fari school of thought, and some women have received memos from the courts to that effect, but the matter remains subject to the judge’s discretion. “Mothers are currently living in a state of unprecedented anxiety,” she emphasizes, “following the news more closely than ever before.”

Motherhood under stress: health at stake

For her part, Dr. Nour Ali explains that unstable mental health can lead to serious hormonal disorders: “Chronic stress and deep sadness raise cortisol levels, disturbing the balance of sex hormones such as estrogen and progesterone.”

She adds that stress affects not only reproductive hormones but also the thyroid gland, contributing to hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism, conditions that cause fatigue, depression, anxiety, weight fluctuations, and menstrual disorders.

Dr. Ali stresses the close link between women’s mental and physical health: poor mental health weakens the immune system, making women more vulnerable to recurrent vaginal, fungal, and viral infections such as genital herpes.

She continues: “Chronic stress and poor mental health significantly impact reproductive health, influencing the size of uterine fibroids and menstrual cycles. Fibroids are benign tumors that grow in the uterine muscle and rely heavily on hormones like estrogen to develop.”

Severe stress, she explains, raises cortisol levels, disrupting overall hormonal balance. This imbalance may stimulate fibroid growth in predisposed women or worsen their symptoms over time. “Stress does not create fibroids out of nothing, but it can accelerate their growth or exacerbate their effects.”

She concludes: “A disturbed psychological state not only affects fibroid growth but also disrupts menstrual regularity. Stress can cause delays or interruptions in the cycle, heavier bleeding in women with fibroids, and severe menstrual pain caused by spasms and hormonal shifts.”

Dr. Ali underscores the importance of integrating women’s mental health into overall healthcare: “Managing stress and providing psychological support helps stabilize hormones and reduce complications such as menstrual disorders or intensified fibroid symptoms, ultimately improving women’s health and quality of life.”

A mother’s marriage: A legal nightmare threatening custody of her children

Human rights activist Insam Salman highlights “the suffering of many divorced mothers who remarry, as they face a real threat of losing custody of their children if they officially register the new marriage in court.”

She explains that this legal reality forces mothers to live under constant anxiety and psychological pressure. “They cannot live their married lives normally and become vulnerable to blackmail or bargaining by some fathers, who threaten to take custody or smear their reputations.”